Category Archives: Parenting

Goodbye, 9th Grade Brain!

Posted on September 15, 2012 | 3 Comments

So it’s the start of a new school year. And with it, comes all the craziness of a new school year, new schedules and new routines.

But I will embrace ALL of that, if I can kiss that 9th grade brain goodbye.

Let me explain.

My youngest daughter seemed to struggle with incredible forgetfulness during her freshman year of high school. INCREDIBLE forgetfulness.

  • Forgotten – and important and mandatory – homework, project and take home exams.
  • Left behind UNIFORMS.
  • Lunch money that didn’t find its way into a back pack.

You get the idea.

I just didn’t remember my oldest doing this. As in, at all.

So, we managed to muddle through the school year, with running said “forgotten insert item here”  to the school. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was her grandparents (thank you, Mom and Pop!). Sometimes it was her aunt (thank you, Laura!). And sometimes it was her dad. It seemed we all took turns.

And I still didn’t remember my oldest doing this.

And then it was June.

Instead of getting better, it got WORSE.

On one of my trips into the school, I remarked to the extremely kind woman who sits inside the front office doors that, “You know, I think my daughter secretly wants us to be BFFs. Why else would she want me to see you – every day?”

We both laughed.

And then it was the last day of school and she was almost done. All that stood between her and summer was two finals.

Out the door she flew, headed to the bus stop, a big smile on her face.

Then I got the txt.

The PANIC txt.

MOM!! I forgot my calculator!!!! And I have a math final, like soon!!

Seriously???

So I made a quick side trip to school before heading to work. My new BFF buzzed me in, and looking at my bag, she asked what brought me in today.

“Oh, it’s a calculator today.”

“OHHH,” she said seriously. “You need to head around the corner for that.”

Wow….I must be getting VIP treatment now. As I rounded the corner into the main section of the school office, I stopped dead in my tracks. I just could NOT believe what I was seeing.

An ENTIRE SECTION of the counter was covered.

Covered with calculators.

Each with a little sticky note, bearing a child’s name.

A child who, too, had forgotten his or her calculator.

I did a quick count. My kids go to a fairly small high school but still, the results smacked me in the face. Just about 1 out of every 4 of the 9th graders – 25% – had forgotten their calculators that day.

The Ultimate Curse of the 9th Grade Brain.

As I talked to yet another lovely secretary, I learned that indeed, these calculators ALL belonged to 9th graders.

She smiled sweetly and told me not to worry.  Summer was coming, and 9th grade would be over soon.

I called my husband on the way home, still dazzed by this. He reminded me that our oldest DID experience this same 9th grade forgetfulness thing. 

I had just forgotten.

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Posted in Humor, Parenting, Teens

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Sometimes Simpler IS Better

Posted on June 12, 2012 | 1 Comment
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I was watching TV with my girls last Saturday morning (late morning, of course; remember, I have teenagers!) and naturally it got into a battle of who-wants-to-watch-what.  I made some kind of comment that we wouldn’t have been having that kind of conversation when I was little.

They stared blankly at me. They completely didn’t get it.

“When I was growing up, we only had three stations. Four if you count the PBS station. ”

“WHAT?!!

“That is just crazy!!”

“How did you ever LIVE??”

Seriously? How did I ever LIVE?

When I was growing up, we had some of the BEST TV and some of the BEST TV commercials.  

And my friends and I all knew this was true because there was always an amazing show on any of those 3 channels on Saturday morning. You also didn’t meet your friends outside to play until your “shows” were over. And it was the only time you stayed inside because it was the only time cartoons were on.

Today?  We have HUNDREDS of channels. And sometimes you can’t find even ONE decent show on.

Pretty sad.

 

PS – Thanks to my friend, Deb, for the tip!

 

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Posted in Humor, Parenting, Teens

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My Crash Course as the “Mother” of Boys

Posted on May 30, 2012 | Leave a comment

I have two sisters and a sister-in-law and they all know that I would do anything for them, their families and their kids. So when one of my sisters called and said that she and her husband were going out of the country for a week and asked if I would stay with her kids, she already knew what the answer would be.  

So, I set out on my Great Adventure and left for Boston, and yes, I called it my adventure because I was leaving my own family behind for this period of time, and although my kids are older, they would be with one less parent for a little while. And, no matter how close you are as siblings growing up, it’s so different after you’ve “grown up” and have been on your own and now have your own family. 

Let’s face it: you go from a time spent where you really just can’t get away from these people you grow up with – sometimes, no matter how hard you try – and then, one day, all of a sudden, they’re not there. You have separate lives. And then you have spouses. And then families.  Bizarre. 

And let’s face it. No matter how much you try to see each other, you never get that same “living under the same roof as siblings” time back. Even if you spend time together during a family vacation, it’s just not the same; it’s just not you and your siblings.

If only we could have appreciated that special time we did have back then, huh? 

But onto My Great Adventure: I didn’t get to spend much time at all with my sister for her flight left the following morning. I had to step into her shoes right away and pick up where she left off, schedule and all.  That in itself was incredibly strange. I enjoyed spending time with my nephews but it also made me realize how different and alike my sister and I still are.

What was really different for me was to be the “Stand In Mom” of two boys. I have two girls.  And I grew up with two sisters. This was going to be interesting.  

So what did I discover about boys?

  • Generally speaking, boys create FAR less drama:  I actually started to miss the drama. It’s sort of like a free soap opera where you personally know the characters and get to interact with them. With my nephews, there has not been ONE fight. Not over stealing clothes or borrowing makeup or (my personal favorite) “breathing my air.”
  • Boys take FAR less time to get ready. In the morning. For bed. Anytime:  Sometimes I wonder what my girls are doing, but getting ready to go anywhere can take us hours to do. Maybe they take a nap between putting on makeup and doing their hair. Just not sure, but it takes forever to get teenage girls ready.
  • Boys could care less about being on the phone:  This is a new one for me.  For teenage girls, phones can be considered to be a critical appendage to the body. And. It. Is. Constantly. Ringing. Or. Buzzing. From. A. Text. Seriously.
  • Boys aren’t girl crazy:  Boys are sincerely cool and nonchalant. This is so not an act. I actually witnessed the “accidental run in” between two giggly, teenage girls and my nephew. He was cool as a cucumber and this wasn’t an act. Amazing to see it from the other side.
  • And, burping and farting is just as funny, whether you’re a boy OR a girl: And it still makes your mom – or your aunt – cringe or go nuts (which makes it even funnier still and makes your sibling just laugh even harder).

 Over the course of the visit, I got to know my nephews so much better than I had before. And, I got a chance to spoil them, with trips to the movies (BOY movies and the BIG buttered popcorn!), going out for pizza and even a trip to see the Red Sox. And as you can see, in the end, they even taught me a thing or two.

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Are You Mom Enough? Seriously?

Posted on May 12, 2012 | 2 Comments

Courtesy of TIME

OK, so I wasn’t really going to tackle this topic, but after seeing this covered for the second day on my favorite morning news program – the TODAY Show – in addition to the media onslaught and the slew of conversations on Facebook, it’s time for me to say enough.

Breastfeeding? Yes, I am for it. I think it is a wonderful way to nurture and feed your baby. But I also think it has to be the right choice for the mother as well. I couldn’t manage to do it for my oldest, thanks to unexpected postpartum surgery, but I did for two months for my youngest.  It probably wasn’t  the best experience for me, since my youngest NEVER slept, but I thought I was doing the best for my baby. (And truth be told, the DAY I stopped, she developed an ear infection that lasted six months. Talk about guilt.)

But breastfeeding a kid who is able to stand on a stool? Nope. Sorry, I draw the line there. I just believe that breastfeeding is for babies. After that, you need to wean them, and start making them a little more independent.

I think is my underlying problem with this “attachment parenting” concept.

According to the article, Dr. William Sears, author of “The Baby Book” claims that “attachment parenting” is the way mothers and children would behave if they were living “on an island, and you had no mother-in-laws, no psychologists, no doctors around, no experts, this is what you would naturally and instinctively do…”

I’m having a little trouble with this concept. Not only does this scenario not exist, how does he know this is what would happen according to instinct? If that were true, then as mothers, we would ALL know immediately what to do.

I may be a Gen X Parent, but maybe I’m more of an old-fashioned parent than I think I am.

Maybe it’s because I DID listen to some of the advice that my mom, my mother-in-law and assorted aunts and women from generations before me shared.  I listened, pulled what worked from my upbringing and then what my gut told me to do. I stopped relying on books after advice from the “older generation” seemed to work much better (so much for buying every book on the market). After all, I am from the generation that didn’t have car seats, didn’t wear bike helmets, and was free to play outside – unattended and creating our own games at times – until it was dark and you knew it was time to go home.

It was my dream to have children, but I didn’t intend for my life to stop when they became a part of my life. I hoped they would enrich it, which they absolutely have. I can’t imagine my life without my girls.

Sure, I miss the stages when my kids were little. But I want to see them to grow up. I love each stage of their development (yes, even the eye roll stage!). I want to see what amazing, free thinking individuals they will be! After all, isn’t that our job:  to raise our kids to be the best they can be so they can go out in this world and be who they want to be?

Somehow, raising kids to be so incredibly dependent on us as parents doesn’t sound like that supports that end goal. 

I think psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig said it best:  “When you give a child the feeling that the whole world revolves around them, it’s not good training for the real world. The whole world doesn’t revolve around anybody.”

So I say shame on you, TIME Magazine. 

On behalf of all the moms out there who strive to do their best, day in and day out, I say shame on you. 

  • For the working moms, the stay at home moms and any mom who has ever juggled a schedule to try and make it all work.
  • For moms who wished their infant came with an instruction manual.
  • For any mom who has spent the wee hours of the night, rocking a baby back to sleep or holding a sick child.
  • For moms dealing with hormonal pre-teens or moody and rebellious teenagers.
  • And for moms of kids who manage to melt our hearts with your hugs, kisses and smiles, reminding us that this is the best job in the world and we wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Shame on you, TIME Magazine, for making us feel that somehow we just don’t measure up.

Sure, we all may not be as beautiful and slender as your mom on the cover and we may not all agree with the philosophies in your article, but I say shame on you for once again making mothers doubt our skills in parenting.

Oh, and by the way, nice timing.

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Posted in Health, Parenting

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Supermoms … the Meme

Posted on April 15, 2012 | 4 Comments

Nine weeks ago I started this blog as a part of my graduate course. It’s been challenging at times (and I think I managed to screw up everything I possibly could have with a blog), but overall it’s been a blast.

I pledge to keep the blog going and in the process, I hope not to disappoint my toughest critics – my daughters - too much with the content (not sooo boring!). 

I hope to be back online toward the end of the week, after all my final reports are in. I desperately need to catch up on my cleaning and some overdue errands, which have taken a backseat during the semester. See? I told you. Suburban Supermoms are truly a myth…

In the meantime, I couldn’t resist getting on the meme bandwagon:

 

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Posted in Humor, Parenting

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