Category Archives: Self Esteem

My oldest daughter is a freshman in college. She’s attending our local community college and I couldn’t be more proud of her. She has a 4.0 average, loves her courses and just got inducted into the school’s National Honor Society (don’t worry; I’m not going to sound like one of those fake, phony and sappy Christmas letters. There is a purpose for me giving you this insight.).

My hope is that she after she transfers to a larger university, she’ll graduate with amazing great grades and only a small amount of debt to pay back.

But what I’ve tried to stress to her above all – even above the fact that she needs to make friends and “enjoy the college experience” – is that she must select a major as well as a solid minor.  The major will help her secure her dream job and the minor will help provide a back up plan, should she ever need it.

I gave her this advice because I didn’t do this. I had one major and definitely no back up plan. There was only ONE thing I was going to do. I was going to be a TV reporter. It didn’t matter where. But then, I didn’t take into consideration that I was graduating in the last lousy economy. I did get as far as being a freelance radio reporter, which actually was a pretty cool gig (I did get to interview Newt Gingrich!). And thankfully, my degree did make me versatile.

With a journalism degree, I’ve been able to spend the last 20 years immersed in the field of communications, tackling everything from PR, internal comm, advertising, MarComm, branding, social media and even speech writing.

But what I didn’t prepare myself for was getting stuck in a toxic situation.

The work was enjoyable, but the politics, the game playing and the sheer nastiness of the environment took such an incredible toll on me – emotionally, physically and mentally – that it began to affect my body, my family and ultimately my soul. 

For even me, a Corporate America veteran who cut her teeth working among the “boy’s club,” including being a new mom in the days when flexible schedules and work/life balances were not even discussed, this became an unbearable situation. I am not afraid of hard work. I’ve worked since I was 13; in fact, I love challenges. But, what I am afraid of is a toxic, unfulfilling and unrewarding job that will send me to my grave sooner than expected.

I was searching for other opportunities, but things were not happening fast enough.  In my miserableness, I gained weight, became addicted to caffeine, chugged Maalox by the bottle and should have bought stock in Kleenex.

I knew something had to change the morning I threw up in the women’s bathroom.

My body was telling me what my head would not realize:  although I was continually striving for that carrot being yanked further and further out of my reach, I was far from happy.

So I resigned.

In one of the worst economy’s to ever hit this nation.

And it was the best decision I think I ever made. I had the support, love and reassurance of my family. I reconnected with them and my friends. Sure, things weren’t exactly smooth since I hadn’t necessarily planned for it, but my faith is strong as is my work ethic. I worked a series of jobs for a while and met some truly incredible and very real, very hardworking and most importantly, very kind people. It was like a breath of fresh air.

Three months after leaving, I landed a fantastic and incredible position with a consulting firm and am forever grateful.  The owners – and everyone associated with this firm – are just so incredibly different:  they understand and practice the concept that happy workers are successful workers, not the other way around.  Their work is top-notch and is respected by their clients as well as by those in the industry. And there is no dangling carrot to be yanked out of reach.

 It’s an amazing concept, which I think is captured in this TED video:

I know that Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” In my heart, I believe this wise woman meant this, but I also wonder: would she have said the same thing, had she worked in my shoes?

But Eleanor also said, “You must do the very thing you think you cannot do.”

I didn’t think there was a way out for me. It took a leap of faith.  I just had to believe. I did and I am so glad that I did.

As for my daughter, my advice to her still holds. It will be easier for her if she has a wide variety of skills from which to choose her career path. I think she has learned so much by just watching by what I have gone through.  After all, don’t they say dogs and kids can pick up on what’s going on with you?

And to my readers, should you find yourself in the same predicament, I wish you inner strength.  When I made my career switch, I joined a handful of my fellow students in doing the same thing. This trend has continued through this semester. Our situations slightly differ, but each of us found ourselves in a negative environment, and one we wanted to change.  

I can proudly tell you that today, each and every one of us is a happier soul.